Life's Crucial Moments
by LaughinConfusion
Summary: Chii is a girl living in Konohagakure who won't deny that she likes her life. She has friends, a family and she is respected as a kunoichi. There is just one problem though... She has amnesia and can't remember anything before waking up in the Konoha hospital at age thirteen. These are her defining moments. Clarity: "I'm not just quitting the exams. I'm done being a ninja."


**Hey readers! Thanks for checking this monster out, I can't believe how long it is (8,897 words, without the note)! So this is just a series of one shots that will show important times in my character's life. If you've read my other stories, she has popped up randomly and has no importance to the plot. Well, now she is the plot. I'm going to try and write these out so that it isn't necessary to read the earlier points to understand what is happening in the later points (mainly for the reason that I write these out as I feel, and I'm too impatient to wait until I've written them all out to publish them in order). This means that information will be repeated in each one, but I'm hoping I'll be able to re-introduce that information in an interesting enough way. **

**I apologize for all the little time skips, but we all know how the chunin exams work, and I'm really not that great at writing out fight scenes yet. I'm practicing, but until I feel comfortable with it, no one is going to read one from me. I'll give some details about the finer points of a battle, so you have an idea though. **

**Naruto and all identifiable characters, the setting, etc. (c) Masashi Kishimoto  
Chii, Ichiyo, Tsukasa and Sakutaro (c) Me**

**I hope someone likes this other than me.**

* * *

The sky over Sunagakure is painted a smear of pink and purple, starting to fade into a dark blue. The walls surrounding the village don't really allow anyone to see the sun sink below the horizon. This place and the place I call home have that in common. I have managed to sneak out a few times to see the sunset, not exactly under the noses of Izumo and Kotetsu, the gate guards of Konohagakure. There's no way I can sneak out of here though. At least not tonight. It's the night before the first exam in the chunin selection exams, and it would reflect badly on Konoha if I were caught. Especially if it were by someone from here, worst case scenario, the Kazekage. It could be considered disrespectful, and offensive. But to be completely honest, I almost couldn't care less. I just owe it to the Hokage, my friend Naruto and my team to behave while we're here. I would give almost anything to get out of here for a bit, though. To see the sun disappear, and then walk around in the desert underneath the starry sky. It's the best thing I can get right now, to calm me down...

_"Now Chii... You shouldn't fight..." My mother tells me, in that soft, gentle voice of hers, that can easily turn sharp and reprimanding when I get into trouble, or someone causes problems in their store. My father, a man whose hair and eyes I've inherited, is beside her, silently backing her up. "We don't want you to get hurt, and while we do believe that you're capable, you can't go looking for trouble..." _

This is just a thread of a memory that had come back to me a few months ago, following my sudden and miraculous resurrection from the dead after a massive attack on the village I've come to know as home. It was confounding, because I've been in a state of amnesia for the last three years, and to finally have a solid picture in my mind, not just thoughts of something I guess I had previously learned, like taijutsu, was both a relief and a depressing idea. Few memories had returned since then, most of them being of the two people in what was now the most prominent picture in my mind. There's one of two baby girls with soft blonde hair and brown eyes, and I'm not completely sure what my connection to them is. I think they're my sisters, because they resemble my mother a bit. This one of my parents sitting in front of me with solemn expressions is the only one that had both an image and voices to go with it, and it has sent my mind and emotions into a tail spin, leading me to question what has consumed my life since a few months after I had woken up in Konohagakure. Do I want to be a shinobi if my parents hadn't wanted that for me? The other tiny memories I have are lightly traced with a feeling of love, so I have no reason to believe that I had ever felt any resentment toward the two and had intended to go against what they had told me.

"Chii?" The familiar voice of my jounin instructor, Sakutaro-sensei, comes from the door behind me. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yes, Sakutaro-sensei." I answer lightly without giving any physical acknowledgement. I sense his approach more than hear it, as he steps out to stand beside me on the balcony.

"Chii..." He trails off. Of course he knows I'm lying. For some reason, the man always knows I'm lying, even though there seems to be few that I can't fool. I have a bit of a gift with body language, studying others to pick up clues, and keeping my own in check more than the average human, even those who are shinobi. I can fool any of my friends. I can fool most of the jounin, outside interrogation. I can fool my teammates, who I share a kind of sisterly relationship with. I cannot fool those who I have let in closest to me. I can't fool Shikaku and Yoshino, the two people who took me in when I was thirteen, and I have come to regard as parents, not knowing my biological mother and father any longer. I can't fool Shikamaru, their son, who, if I'm honest, I think of like a brother. I can't fool Ino, who is like my sister in that best friend way, knowing me inside and out (of course, the fact that her family specializes in mind reading and manipulation doesn't help me when I'm trying to keep something secret from her). I can't fool Chouji, who is also like family to me, but not quite as close as Ino and Shikamaru. I can't fool Naruto, who is more perceptive than he lets on, who seems to feel my pain, having never known his parents (even when I didn't have any of my memories, I realize that I had more than him. He's always been on his own, whereas I had the Naras) and I just identify well with. I can't fool Sakutaro-sensei.

With the exception of Ino and my mom (yes, I refer to Yoshino and Shikaku as my parents, and have done so since my fourteenth birthday), all of them will leave me alone when I'm lying, knowing that I will talk when I'm ready. To be completely honest, I'm glad that I have Ino and Mom to push me into talking to them sometimes. I probably would have lost more sanity if I let things boil over. Occasionally though, Naruto and Sakutaro-sensei will call me on my lies, like Ino and Mom, and even more rarely, Dad and Shikamaru will too. Each situation is different, and sometimes I can keep brushing them off, but other times, they won't leave me alone.

"I promise, Sensei. It's just the exams. I'm a little nervous is all." I briefly make eye contact with him, just enough to be considered normal, but not enough for anyone to think that I'm doing it excessively. That's a wonderful tidbit I discovered shortly after I entered the Nara household. Whenever Yoshino would hold eye contact with me after we finished a discussion, if she wasn't getting upset with me, I'd know there was something she was hiding. It happens to be a universal rule, I learned. Everyone believes that avoiding eye contact was a tip off, which is true, but while they are trying not to be obvious by avoiding eye contact, they make it excessively, which can be just as big a tip off to someone who recognizes it. "Don't worry."

Despite my attempt at playing it off and acting naturally, I can tell he knows that there's more to it. He heaves a sigh and leans back against the rail. "You haven't been acting quite like yourself for the last few months, and your teammates have noticed it."

A smirk tugs at my lips. I try not to be vindictive about it, but I've got Ichiyo and Tsukasa wrapped around my little finger, and they won't call me on anything if I tell them I'm fine, even if they think something is wrong. "I swear, I'm okay."

He still doesn't believe me, but I know that he'll leave me alone. "Fine. But you know you can talk to me, right?"

I nod and let myself make eye contact once more. "Yeah, Sensei, but we're shinobi. Even if there is something bugging me, I can't let it out where it might affect a mission, now can I?"

He chuckles lightly. "You know the theory, but this isn't a situation where you have to practice it."

I quirk an eyebrow in question. "I beg to differ. This is the equivalent to a B, or even an A rank mission. This is THE situation to practice it. If I were to have a breakdown tonight, who's to say it wouldn't mess with me tomorrow?"

He shakes his head. "Oh, if only the boys took things as seriously as you do."

A smile manages to slip across my face. "Come on, Sensei. Ichiyo isn't that bad, even if Tsukasa is a bit of an idiot sometimes."

His mouth twitches toward a smile. "However, I think you take things a bit too seriously. I never see you have any fun."

"Again, I beg to differ." I grin maliciously. "I had plenty of fun causing those two grief and scoring the occasional piggy back ride on the way here."

This causes him to let out a bark of laughter. "Okay, I'll give you that... But it has been really rare since the attack on the village. You hadn't even been there to welcome Naruto back."

I freeze for a second, and I know that he notices this. "...I had just been revived from the dead, Sensei. I was still in shock."

"Did something happen while you were dead?"

I can't tell him about the memory. It might lead to him figuring out my plan... To drop out of the exams once my teammates are past the point where they need me, and give up on being a ninja.

"No." I answer cryptically, folding my arms and taking up a more defensive stance. As good as I am at reading body language, I know that he is better. All of the jounin are better than me, of course, except maybe some of the newer ones, but I seem to fly under most of their radars. Not many think that a genin level girl that never attended the academy could have jounin level analysis skills. They had thought the same thing of Shikamaru, until his exams, where his quick analysis would have put him in the finals, had he not backed down at the last minute. He definitely showed them all. I have not had the same luck. My team didn't make it past the first test the first time around because we fell for the head games the proctor threw at us, then I got taken down in my match against an Iwa-nin (whose Earth style ninjutsu was more than a little bit ahead of mine) in the first level of the tournament the last time we took the exam. Ichiyo had made it to the round before the semi-finals, but lost to a Kiri-nin. Tsukasa made it one step further into the semi-finals, but lost to a different Iwa-nin (after practically slaughtering the one that kicked my butt). None of us had made chunin then, which I was really surprised. I had at least thought that Ichiyo would make it, because out of the three of us, he is the most rounded, and he is _strong_. Tsukasa has just a bit more fighting skill than Ichiyo, and a noticeable amount more than me. With my seemingly innate analysis skills and the strategy skills that Shikamaru and Shikaku had helped me improve, they even look to me before Sakutaro. Ichiyo is the balance between us, with physical battle prowess ahead of my own, and a quicker mind than Tsukasa.

Anyway, I digress. Bringing my mind back to the current situation, I channel my body language into telling Sensei what he won't believe when I verbally express it. I don't want to talk.

He sighs again, and I eye him as he returns to the suite. I win this round. To try and make it a bit harder to be found, I quickly scale the building to the roof top and lay on my back, staring up at the sky, watching it darken and stars come out, one by one. I have no idea how much time has passed since I came up here, but I still don't really plan on going back just yet. I figure the less time I spend with my team, the easier the decision I've made will be to go through wi-

I bolt upright as a familiar chakra signature appears beside me. "Hey, Chii."

"Hi, Naruto."

The blonde settles in to a comfortable position beside me. "So... How do you like Suna? You haven't been here before, have you?"

I shake my head and shrug. "It's hot." Almost stifling is more like it, but I won't complain much. Hot days make for warm, comfortable nights, like the one that has settled.

"Yeah, but Konoha isn't much cooler in the summer."

I nod. "Mhm." A silence takes hold, and I take the opportunity to go back to my star gazing.

"...So what's up?"

I close my eyes, prepared to play dumb. "The sky, the expectations for the genin from each nation... A lot of things, take your pick."

This earns a laugh from him. "No, I mean, what's up with you? You've been off this whole trip, and I'm pretty sure that it's been a lot longer than that."

For a knucklehead, he can be obnoxiously observant. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Really?" He presses.

"Yes."

"Your sensei doesn't seem to think so."

I glance over at him. "Has he said something?"

He looks away sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "Not exactly... I may or may not have overheard your conversation earlier..."

I roll my eyes with a sigh. Great. Then he knows that I totally shut Sensei's interrogation down, which is going to motivate him to push harder. "What do you want me to say, Naruto?"

"Just tell me the truth, Chii. I'm your friend."

I doubt he'll want to be, after this. I fix him with a hard stare. "...You CANNOT tell ANYONE, got it, Uzumaki?"

He makes a motion to cross his heart and zip his lips.

I sigh heavily. "I got a memory back, okay? Actually, I got a few. I saw my birth parents, and a couple of baby girls that I think might be my sisters."

He grins. "That's awesome, isn't it? You're remembering your family!"

I shake my head. If only it were that simple. "Yeah... And I don't think they wanted me to be a shinobi. I guess that I had been fighting or something when I was younger, and my mother and father were telling me that I shouldn't fight. The feelings that came with those memories... I probably had listened to them, or was going to, before whatever happened that left me half dead in that charbroiled town."

His happy expression suddenly falls and he looks away pensively. "So, what are you going to do now?"

I tense and close my eyes again, knowing that he isn't going to like my answer. "I'm going to quit."

"What, the exams? I don't think you should, because I bet you'll make chunin this time, just like I will!"

"I'm not just quitting the exams. I'm done being a ninja."

The atmosphere suddenly shifts, and I can feel the outrage rolling off of him in waves as he starts to holler. "Chii! You can't quit! You're a good ninja and we need you!"

I open my eyes to see his expression, a mix of sorrow and urgency. I wish I could say that I didn't expect this, because it makes me feel unreasonably cocky to say I knew he would get this worked up over me quitting, but I really did. I knew that this was pretty much exactly how he was going to react. "Naruto... I can't. You don't understand. You at least know that your parents would have supported you in your choice to be a shinobi. I don't have that, and I feel like continuing on after that memory would just be disrespectful to them. I felt bad enough letting the Naras become my new family, and now this would just be the ultimate betrayal."

"But Chii, what about your team? They need you to get through the exams!"

"Only up until the individual matches. I'll fight tooth and nail to get them through the first and second tests, but then I will drop out and watch. From then on, they won't need me."

"What if they don't make it?" He continues, and I can tell that he's really trying to pressure me. Not going to happen.

"Then they have six months until the next exams to find and break in a new teammate." I answer briskly in a tone letting him know that I'm not changing my mind.

"But..." He sighs, sounding almost defeated. "What are you going to do? Just go to civilian life?"

"Yes." That will leave me free. I can take off and go where I want. I can look for my family.

"You're going to be bored watching the rest of us. I've seen you in action. You love this life!" He persists.

"I won't be watching you!" I snap.

"What are you going to do? Cover your eyes and ignore us?" He snaps back. That's fine, he can be mad at me.

"When we get back, I'm going to have my chakra sealed, and then... I'm leaving Konoha."

"WHAT?!" And he's back to being outright pissed.

"I have to, Naruto. I will follow through with my parents wishes, and then I'm going to go searching for them."

"Chii! You can't go! Are you really going to walk away from all the bonds you've built since you got to the village? I didn't meet you until a year after you had been there, but I had heard about you from everyone, and you mean a lot to a lot of people! You're my friend, and you mean a lot to me!"

I let myself wear a sad smile and reach out to touch his hand. "And you mean a lot to me too, Naruto. You've helped me so much... You're the only one who knows about this right now. I'll tell Mom, Dad, Shikamaru, Ino and my team when we get back. You're the only I can talk to about this at the moment."

His head falls, and I think this is the first time I've seen him look utterly defeated and at a loss for what to do. It's killing me that I'm causing it, and I realize that I'm a hypocrite. I was raving mad when I heard about Sasuke, and though I'd never met him, I cursed his name for hurting Naruto, like I'm doing now.

"I really don't want you to go."

"I know. I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I'm so honored to have you as a friend. You and everyone else have been so great to me. You all gave me something when I had nothing. And I know that I will never be able to thank you enough..." I lift the hand touching his and use it to bring his face up to look at me. "But now I've got to go and make something for myself."

He sighs again and his eyes avoid mine. "There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Well then... I'll find someone who can do something." And with that, he's gone, leaving me stunned.

What the heck?

~.~.~.~.~

I lay on my back on the bed in my hotel room, staring blankly up at the ceiling. We made it through the first exam, the classic information gathering test, and then a curve ball thrown at us that determined whether or not we'd be willing to risk the rest of our squad's lives for the sake of the mission, or leave the decision up to them. Thankfully, Ichiyo, Tsukasa and I have strong enough team chemistry to know that given the situation, we'd all put the mission ahead of ourselves, but we wouldn't take the choice away from each other. Now we just have to get through the second test tomorrow, and then I'm out. The whole day, I've had what Naruto said last night at the back of my mind. What did he mean? He swore he wouldn't tell anyone, and everyone knows that he's a man of his word... So who can he get involved that wouldn't milk him for more information? I guess if he mentioned something to Sakutaro... But I have a feeling that isn't who he meant. Darn it all. I need to get some air. I pitch myself off the bed and go over to the window, pulling myself up and out, then jumping up onto the roof. It's about the same time as it was yesterday, so I can look at the sk- What the heck?!

My whole body freezes as I catch sight of a man standing a few feet in front of me. The first thing I see is his tousled red hair, that looks amazingly soft. Then I see the tattoo where his hair parts on the upper left side of his forehead. Lastly, I see his eyes, outlined in black rings. They seem almost like an icy blue at first, but the more I look, I can see that there is green in there too. I know that it's as corny as anything, but I feel like I can just drown in them.

"Mhm..." He clears his throat, snapping me out of my trance. I let my eyes quickly rake over his body, not for any perverted purpose, but to read the signals he gives off. The way he carries himself makes him seem really tall, even though he probably hasn't got more than an inch on me. His back is straight (which can't be easy with the massive gourd on it), his shoulders back, his arms hang at his sides. He's out to talk to someone about something. He clears his throat again and I look back up to his face. I should probably be embarrassed, but I'm not. I'm not checking him out, I'm analyzing him. There's enough truth in that to give an honest excuse for scoping out probably the hottest guy I have ever seen.

"Can I help you?" I inquire.

"You're Chii, correct?" Okay, the last thing I want to do is add to the corniness, but holy cow, that voice... If I weren't so good at keeping my body in check, it would send visible shivers down my spine.

"Yes. Not to be rude, but who are you, and why do you care who I am?" My eyes narrow in suspicion. The only reason I can imagine someone seeking me out is to try and take me out of the exams, but there's nothing going on with this guy's body language to suggest hostility. Then again, maybe he's just been trained really well to take his enemy by surprise. Or maybe he's been sent to try and get information out of me? Well, he's going to be sorely disappointed, because I don't know any secr-

"Naruto sent me."

I look at him curiously. Okay... Why does Naruto think that this guy can change my mind? "What did he say to you?"

"He said that his friend Chii is having some issues and he asked me to talk to her about my reason for fighting."

Now I'm curious... What was that banana blonde thinking? "Um... All right. What's in it for you, if I may ask?"

His eyes glance over me. "Nothing. He's my friend, and I'm doing him a favor, which I believe he is trying to do for you."

I shake my head slightly. "I know that's what he thinks he's doing, but he's not."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes..." I trail off. Crap, that sounds uncertain. I shake my head again, a bit harder this time. "Why don't you just do what you came to do, get the knucklehead off your back, and honestly say you tried."

He seems to study me for a minute before speaking. "...What is your reason for being a shinobi?"

I don't answer right away, averting my eyes downward to the left. I haven't ever thought about why I'm doing this, other than something in me tells me to. "What does it matter?"

What is it with that weird ability to feel it when someone's eyes are on you? I know he's still studying me, but I don't look at him. I don't understand why I can't even look at his face. It's ridiculous. I can hold a staring contest with my sensei, the hokage, and pretty much anyone else without flinching, why not him? Just to prove to myself that I can, I look back up at him and start analyzing his facial cues, and am not surprised to find nothing there. He must have been trained to hide his emotions.

"If you have no purpose, then you might as well not be doing it at all." His eyes meet mine when he answers, and I have that drowning sensation again.

"Well then that's good, because I'm quitting." I spit out, and immediately wish that I hadn't. He doesn't react at all. He probably can't care less. He's just here for Naruto.

"Why? Why quit when you've come this far?"

"Because I'm not cut out for it." I respond monotonously, like him. I have a strong feeling that this really isn't his thing, and I feel bad that he's doing this because I whined to Naruto yesterday. "Look, you don't have to keep talking, you can leave and I'll tell Naruto that you tried, but I'm determined and there's nothing anyone can do abou-"

"Why are you scared?" He cuts me off and catches me off guard.

"What?"

"Why are you scared?" He repeats.

"I'm not scared. I knew about the dangers when I tested to make genin, and I'm not afraid to put myself at risk."

"You're afraid to progress and become stronger."

Dang it, what is with this guy? "That's nuts. Why would anyone be afraid of that?"

"You tell me."

I shake my head. "This is crazy. I'm not afraid to become stronger, on the contrary, I want to become stronger."

"Why?"

I throw my hands up in exasperation. "For myself, for the village, for my families-" I slap my hands over my mouth.

His mouth twitches upward. He knows that he's gotten something out of me. "Families? I thought it was common to have only one family."

I slowly lower my hands to my sides, in an almost robotic way. "Well, I don't think that anyone can really label me as common, and I don't mean that in a good way."

"Why is that?"

"You don't care to know."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because everything you have done since I got up here screams that you're not involved in this in anyway, and that's okay. You don't know me, and you don't need to trouble yourself further. Seriously, Naruto will get over it, and he won't hold me leaving over your head." I realize that as I spoke, my breathing got heavier and my tone harsher. Awesome, with any luck, I'll scare him off. Well, in the 'this chick is nuts, I'm out of here' kind of way.

"Leaving?" His non existent eyebrow quirks minutely in curiosity. "You're not talking about the exams."

I groan internally. I did it again! What is my problem? I've slipped up with this guy more than anyone I've known in the last three years, which is my whole life, as far as I really know. "It doesn't matter."

"You keep saying that. It must matter, if you're walking away from your village." Figures he'd guess what I really meant. Fantastic. "Will you regret it?"

"...I don't know." A lie. I know that I will. I know that I'm going to do this purely on a gamble, and that I may never find my biological family. They may be dead.

"What is so important that you're willing to turn your back on a friend?"

I run a hand through my hair. "I'm not going to go into this with a total stranger." There, that should be enough to get him off m-

"Gaara."

"...What?"

"My name is Gaara. This is my village."

Gaara... A self loving demon? The name doesn't fit him. He may not care about me, but he cares about Naruto enough to talk to me for him. I can't imagine that a demon would do that. For some reason though, the name rings a bell in my head. "Okay?"

"Now we aren't complete strangers."

I roll my eyes. So I know his name and his village, that doesn't really make me want to spill my life story to him. "I know a lot more than the names of more than half the shinobi in my village, and none of them know everything about me. You've put in a surprising amount of effort into this, and I applaud you for it, but I'm not budging."

"Fine. I'm not going to force you."

Finally! I turn away, ready to go hide in my room with a book. "Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me-"

"I didn't say I was done." I stop. "At least let me fulfill my promise, then you can do as you wish."

I face him again, folding my arms over my chest, putting my legs a shoulder width apart in a defensive stance. "What do you have left to do?"

"Tell you my reason."

Seriously? This guy... "Okay, then tell me, so we can both go back to our business."

He doesn't say anything, his eyes travelling down my body, then back up and I know he's analyzing me too. I wonder if he's like me and can read the body language of others.

"I fight to protect the people I care about."

His words don't sink in with me. I don't have anyone to protect. Ever since I woke up in the Konoha hospital, everyone has been protecting me. Tsunade, Dad, Mom, Shikamaru, Ino, Inoichi, Chouji, Naruto, Sakutaro, Ichiyo, Tsukasa... They've all watched out for me every day for the last three years. Who do I need to protect? The pair of blonde baby girls from my memory cross my mind. My biological parents. They weren't ninja. I would need to protect them.

"I fight to show my strength to my village, to show that I can be trusted."

The civilians around the village. The academy students. I protected them in that freak attack... It was the best feeling I've ever had, and when I died, I remember feeling proud that I was taking care of them...

"I fight to form bonds with others, to affirm my existence and give my life purpose."

That does it. I press the heels of my hands to the sides of my head and close my eyes as the emotions that I felt my first three months in Konoha come rushing back, suddenly and painfully. The aching, the longing to know who I am, the emptiness... It all had gradually faded away when I had started training. My muscles had all responded quicker than I could think that first time I sparred with Shikamaru, and it was after that... I was able to smile for the first time. Will I go back to all of that if I walk away, even if I have a new purpose in finding my family? I know I'll miss sparring with Naruto, Konohamaru, Ichiyo and Tsukasa, hanging out with Ino and the other girls, Sensei acting like a protective older brother... Yes, I will go back to that pain. I had considered it before, but it didn't seem to hurt. I had taken that as a sign that I needed to go, but now... I think it's because I couldn't deal with it at the time. I feel so conflicted. I feel bad for wanting to go on with my life as it is, staying in Konoha and becoming jounin, maybe even making ANBU, but now I feel like I can't give that up.

My hands are pulled from their place at my temples, and I open my eyes to see Gaara right in front of me, holding my wrists. His lips are moving, but my heart is pounding in my ears so loudly I can't hear him. I've got to calm down. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes again, but not clenching them shut. I focus on my breathing, keeping it slow and steady. My heart takes its time slowing down, but I can finally hear him.

"...Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah..." I shakily respond. I can't believe it. I haven't had a panic attack like that in a long time. Not even after I was brought back.

"Are you sure?" I nod and pull my arms back, letting them fall to my sides. He nods as well. "Do you need anything?"

I shake my head and look down out of shame. "No... I'm fine."

He takes a step back, giving me my space, I can tell. "Are you going back to your room?"

I shake my head again. "I'm not ready to."

"Then I will stay here with you." My eyes dart back up to his.

"You don't have to."

"I'm not going to leave you by yourself after that."

Great. This is exactly why I keep everything to myself, but he just had to press that button. I take another deep breath. "Then fine, I'll go back to my room."

I wish I could say that I see something in his face, but there is nothing. "Um... Thanks... I think listening to you helped me figure something out. You know, before I lost it. Sorry you had to see that."

He nods, and stands there. He's probably making sure that I'm going back. I roll my eyes and turn back around. "Goodnight Gaara." I jump back down onto the little balcony, then walk inside. I'm still not sure whether or not I'm going to quit the exams, but I do know one thing. I'm not leaving Konoha. Not for awhile anyway.

~.~.~.~.~

I bolt upright with a gasp, in a cold sweat. My room is pitch black and I'm disoriented. The dream I just had was important, I can't picture everything right away, and I can feel it slipping through my fingers, so I grasp on to what I can remember.

_"Now Chii, you shouldn't fight recklessly like you have been." My mother tells me. My father is beside her, silently backing her up. "We don't want you to get hurt, and while we do believe that you're capable, you can't go looking for trouble. We're so proud of you for what you've done and how strong you've gotten, and we know that you will go on to be great. You'll protect your sisters and be an example for them to follow. We love you, and support you in whatever you choose to do, but please, be careful, and do it for a good reason..." _

I take a shuddering breath and wrap my arms around myself. Oh my gosh... They supported me. They were okay with me fighting, even encouraging it. I take another breath and press my hands to my face, only then noticing that I have tears streaking down my cheeks. I finally regain composure and remember where I am. I wipe my eyes and get out of bed, heading for the kitchenette. I flip the light on and almost jump out of my skin upon finding Sakutaro at the counter, feeling rather embarrassed, being only in a black tank top and dark blue sleep shorts. At least he's in a t-shirt and sweatpants, as opposed to shirtless and boxers. "Sensei..."

He gives me a half smile and points to the glass of juice next to him. The man knows me too well. I walk over and pick it up, taking a big drink, before speaking. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now... Are you ready to talk?"

I sigh and run my hand through my hair, taking notice that it's all over the place. I must look like a wreck. I have no doubt that my eyes are red and puffy and that there are tear trails running down to my chin. I take another drink and give him a slight nod. He leans back against the counter, ready to listen. I start talking, and by the time that I reach the first memory, which was about thirty seconds in, I couldn't stop. I tell him everything from planning to quit, to talking to Gaara (which he chuckles at, much to my confusion) and the panic attack, to the memory I just had, and I find myself crying again. He doesn't leave me hanging, taking me into his arms and letting me sob into his chest.

After I finish bawling like a baby, he wipes my eyes and continues to hug me, rubbing my back. Most people would probably label this inappropriate, but there's really nothing going on between us. He treats me more like a little sister than anyone, even Shikamaru, and he and I have gotten pretty close.

"It's okay." He mutters softly. "You know now, you're not going against their wishes."

I nod and can't come up with anything better to say than a barely coherent mumble. "I can't leave..."

"You don't have to. You've built a life for yourself, and I doubt they would expect you to turn away from all of it. You've put your roots down, you've trained hard to become strong, and you're getting stronger bit by bit. You've got friends, and while you aren't close to many people, you still have a new family that cares for you. I'm sure your parents would be happy to know that you are being looked after."

What would I do without this man? He's been watching out for me ever since I became his student, and he's helped me become strong enough to get through all the problems I've had in the last few months, even though he probably doesn't know it. "Thank you, Sensei."

"Any time." We stand in the same spot for I don't know how long, him just rubbing my back and whispering comforting words. After awhile, once I've stopped crying, he rests his hands on my shoulders and looks at me. "Are you going to be okay to go through tomorrow?"

I nod. I have to. I can't abandon my guys. And now I know, if I were to back out, I would be abandoning myself too.

"Good. Then you need to get to sleep."

"Okay..." I breathe out. I quickly down the last of my juice, which feels great running down my burning throat, and go back to my room, slipping under the covers right away, and I'm out before I can even wonder about tomorrow.

~.~.~.~.~

I glance around at the other genin. It has been five days since the start of the second test, and it's finally over. My team made it out of the forsaken desert training grounds yesterday, and we're beyond glad that we got a night to relax and clean up, unlike the poor suckers that dragged themselves in this morning, barely making the cut. Overall, it appears that there are only about twelve of us. Just enough that they'll pair us off and tell us to prepare for the final tournament. We're just waiting on the kazekage to come and make the speech. I see a ton of sand gathering together out of the corner of my eye, and focus my attention on it. In a matter of seconds, the Kazekage appears, wearing the white and blue robes and hat, representing his nation. When he looks up, I can see under the hat and my breath catches. Oh, crap. My head whips over to stare at Naruto, who is staring ahead at Gaara, until he notices me looking at him. He tilts his head a tiny bit to the side in question.

"He's your friend?" I mouth, indicating the young village leader. The blonde just nods. I shake my head, cursing my luck. I checked out the Kazekage. I flipped an attitude at the Kazekage. I had a panic attack in front of the Kazekage. Oh my heck. He probably thinks I'm weak, and possibly psychotic. Great!

"Congratulations to all of you who stand before me. To have gotten this far, you must possess great strength and intelligence, befitting of chunin rank. You have shown that to each other, and in the next test, you will show that to those who are in charge of your mission assignments, and those who will make requests to your village. Before I say anymore, I must ask, are there any who wish to remove themselves?"

His eyes go to me, and I meet them head on. My hands are at my sides, not even twitching. I'm sticking this out until the end. I may or may not make chunin, but no one is going to be able to tell me that I gave up. I've got too much riding on this. I feel Naruto's gaze on me, and only when the kazekage breaks eye contact with me, do I glance at my friend and see the massive grin on his face. I'll have to talk to him later.

"Very well. Now, from this point on, any of you are eligible to be promoted to chunin..."

~.~.~.~.~

I hear the applause as I stare up at the sky, too exhausted to move. Ichiyo gazes down at me with a smile that screams that he's proud of me, even though he pretty much just handed me my butt on a platter.

"The winner is Hatoyama Ichiyo!" The proctor announces. I barely manage to sit up, but I can't quite get to my feet. My silver haired teammate slips his arms underneath me and picks me up as if I weigh nothing, then carries me back to the other competitors. Naruto is immediately in front of us, with his brighter than the sun smile.

"Chii, aw man, you were awesome out there!" He claps Ichiyo on the back. "So were you, I mean, you won, but wow! That move where you rode that earth wave and caught him as he jumped up..!"

I bury my face in the black eyed boy's arm. Give it a rest Naruto. I still lost in the first round. It was just my luck that I got pitted against one of my own teammates. I almost had him too, with that move that Naruto was going on about, and then having a few earth clones ready to go, but I got a sloppy with my chakra control, and drained fast. Normally, I have an advantage with my ability to pick out cues from the body language of my opponent, but my teammates both learned how to better hide the little signals I look for to predict a move, so that was out the window.

He sets me down gently against the wall, so I can sit up, then sits beside me. Oh well... I guess there's always next exams. Fourth time's the charm, right? I listen to the rest of the matches, grinning as I hear that Tsukasa made it to the quarter finals with Ichiyo. Between the two of them, I honestly can never say who will win until the fight's almost over. Tsukasa has more stamina, but Ichiyo is more observant and deceptive.

When Ichiyo has to go back out for his next match, Naruto parks it beside me. "Hey."

"Hey, Mr. Throws His Match." I whisper with a smirk in his direction. He had been set up against Konohamaru in the match before mine and Ichiyo's, and I felt horrible watching him slaughter Konohamaru without breaking a sweat, but then the kid pulled out all the stops and did pretty well. So well, that he "forced" Naruto into sage mode, and Naruto was disqualified for use of prohibited jutsu. I don't know what anyone other than my teammates thought, but we all agreed he did that deliberately to let Konohamaru win, without embarrassing him. I think a lot of people might have written him off as an idiot, but he's got a lot more going on in that spiky blonde head of his than a lot of people realize.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." He shrugs. I smile and nudge him with my shoulder.

"You're awesome." I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes for just a minute...

"Chii, wake up." I feel a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. Did I fall asleep? I open my eyes and see Ichiyo, then look to my left and see Naruto grinning at me.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty!" I cringe at the volume of his voice, it hurts my head. I rub my eyes and try to stand up, but I'm still shaky. I guess I'm more exhausted than I thought.

"Is it over?" My voice comes out scratchy and dry, and my vision is a little blurry. I can still see Ichiyo nod. "How far did you get? Who won?"

His smile is clear. "Well..."

"Oh, don't drag it out, man." Tsukasa walks up beside him. I assess how my brown haired teammate looks once my vision is clear, and I've got to say, he seems to have been put through the ringer. Then I get an eyeful of Ichiyo, and in comparison, Tsukasa could have just come out of a hot spring. He claps the Hatoyama on his shoulder. "Our guy won the tournament."

"You didn't do too badly. You made it to the semi-finals."

"Oh my gosh, that's great!" I beam, rushing over and flinging my arms around both of them. These are my boys, and I couldn't be more proud to be their teammate. I was insanely lucky that they didn't make it the first time around (I can't imagine why they didn't, it must have been their other team member, who I heard dropped out when they failed), got sent back to the academy, so by the time they finished their final year again Both of them chuckle and envelop me in their arms.

"All right, all right, enough with the love fest! We've all gotta get down there for the kage to announce the promotions!" Naruto hollers. The three of us separate with encouraging smiles, then jump over the railing, back down into the arena. When we're all gathered, the five kage appear before us. Gaara steps forward.

"It is now time for each kage to announce those who will advance to the rank of chunin. We will start with the Mizukage."

When the brown haired leader of the Mist steps forward, my eyes go back to Gaara. He's not wearing his hat, so I can see his crimson hair and sea foam eyes clearly. I wonder what he thought of my performance... Wait, get it together Chii... It's not his opinion I should worry about as much as Tsunade's. As soon as that thought passes through my head, the Hokage steps forward. I notice that the Mizukage has two boys that I would bet are about fourteen standing with her. The Tsuchikage has a boy that can't be older than me with him. The Raikage doesn't have anyone. Tsunade has stepped forward now, and she's suddenly the center of the universe.

"I, Tsunade, the Hokage of Konohagakure, have made my decision, and with the approval of the other kage, I select Hatoyama Ichiyo, and Chii, to be promoted to the rank of chunin. They have both exhibited traits that show that they are worthy of advancement."

My eyes are wide, I'm sure of it, and my heart is pounding. The only thing that get's through to me is Ichiyo's gentle nudge as he passes by me to go to the Hokage's side. It takes another second for it to sink in, but when it does, I can hardly restrain myself from jumping in the air as I join them. I did it!

My high doesn't last long, however, as another fact sinks in. Neither Tsukasa or Naruto made it. I knew when Naruto got disqualified, he lost his chance, but it's just sinking in now. I know that four promotions from the same village at one time isn't a common occurrence, but I guess when I figured out that I wanted to stick this out to the end, I fostered a small hope that my team and Naruto could all advance together. I focus on the dirt at my feet, not ready to see the disappointment on either of their faces.

Gaara starts to speak again. making his selection of one boy, but I'm not listening. After what feels like forever, we are dismissed to say our goodbyes, and prepare to head back home. Suddenly, I'm in another pair of arms, and my feet are lifted off the ground as I'm spun around.

"Way to go, Chii!" Naruto cheers. "I'm not surprised that you made it!"

When he puts me down, I finally meet his deep blue eyes. I want to question him, but that won't do any good. This is Naruto. He'll be happy for his friends before he even thinks about feeling bad for himself. I throw my arms around him in a tight hug. "I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you. Thank you so much."

His arms tighten around me. "I'm just glad you're staying."

"Yeah... I promise, I'm not going anywhere." We don't move for a bit, just staying in the exact same spot. Eventually, he releases me, and I take a step back to regain some space between us. There's a familiar sound of someone clearing their throat behind me, and I turn to see Gaara.

"Gaara!" Naruto beams, and I move out of the way to let him through so he can talk to his friend. I should probably leave them alone, but I need to say something too. I tune out their conversation, until Naruto puts his arm around my shoulders. "Chii is awesome, and now everyone here knows it!"

I roll my eyes. Why can't he just boast about himself? He's really good at it. My eyes fall back to Gaara, who is staring straight at me, like he had when he had given us all the choice to back out after the second test. Just like I had then, I meet him head on.

"Congratulations. You did well." He acknowledges.

I nod in gratitude. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama." That's right, I'm sticking to formalities. "...And may I just thank you for everything. You did me a favor, despite how stubborn and reluctant I was to accept it." I bow my head out of respect.

"You're welcome." I lift my head, and make eye contact with him. There's something new in his eyes, different than what was there before. It looks like... pride? Hm...

"Gaara!" A guy in a black suit with purple paint on his face calls, walking up with a sandy blonde in a black dress. Wait, I know that blonde!

"Hey, Chii." Temari gives me a small smile as they reach us.

"Hey. I haven't seen you since you were strolling around our village, attached to Shikamaru. It's been awhile." I smirk. I remember when I first saw the two. I thought they were adorable together, and after she had left, Shikamaru had come home with a strange fire in his eyes, which I attribute to her.

Her eyes expand a tiny bit, but then she plays it off. "Yeah." She looks to Gaara. "We've got to get going. The daimyo wants to meet with you."

He nods, then glances back at Naruto and me. "Have a safe trip back. We may see each other again soon."

"Yeah! Good luck with your village! Come up with tips for me, and I'll keep them in mind for when I become Hokage!"

The three give us a parting wave, then walk away. Something clicks in my head as they do.

Temari had mentioned her little brothers when she was in Konoha. She had said that her youngest brother was cute, and told me some stories about him now, and while he was capable of strategizing and commanding ninja efficiently, he was clueless about how to care for himself. That, and a few other things. I said he sounded adorable. When I met Naruto, it was after he got back from an emergency mission, that was right after he returned to the village after two and a half years. He said he was helping the kazekage of Suna, who happened to be an old friend of his, from his first chunin exams, when the village had been attacked. Random bits of information that I remember from that time piece themselves together, and I realize that I know a fair bit about Gaara for only having talked with him for all of twenty minutes. Well... He's not exactly a stranger, and I suppose that I owe him as much as I owe Naruto for my new found peace with the life I've chosen to lead.

The future that awaits me is going to be far from sunshine and rainbows, but I know that it's what is meant for me, and I'll take it. I will protect, I will be strong, I have a purpose.

* * *

**Did I mention that this thing is a monster?! I have a feeling it will be the longest, but the other moments will probably be pretty long too. Aiya... Anyway, what do you guys think? I'm not looking to get my ego stroked, but for honest feedback that tells me whether or not I'm good at creating strong, three-dimensional characters (or at least one for the time being) and inserting them into an already created universe without causing a bunch of problems. Did I do well, or are there noticeable problems that need to be worked on? Please tell me!**

**Anyway, thanks for reading if you did, please leave a review! Bye for now!**


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